Wheelin It 2011-12: We left

Thursday, August 25, 2011

We left

As they say "Shit Happens"

Before we left we took the dogs to the vet for a check up,drugs and needles for the trip and some dental work for Sonny and Cher-----------------------------------------$2,753.00
Then it was our turn-Drugs for 9 months.Blue cross would only pay for 3 months so our share for 6 months---------------------------------------------------------------- $2,048.00
Ok,now lets fill up with fuel------------------------------------- $ 565.00
Deposit on House in Mexico------------------------------------ $ 1,500.00
Pay Visa bill which included Europe Cruise for next year $13,485.00
Maybe we should just stay home!

Actually we can't afford to stay home,we have to skip out of here.

We did leave town Friday the 19th but we have had no internet.
I think there is something wrong with our aircard.

We spent the first night in Yorkton Sask at a truck stop that had a parking lot that was not quite up to par

No Damage done.

Then it was off to Winnipeg Man where we stayed a couple of nights at a good Provincial Park.We only had power which is really roughing it for Peg,but she did manage.

We went to the Manitoba Museum,which would probably be interesting if you gave a Rat's Ass about the history of Manitoba.

The Science part of it was a blast as usual and the Beatles Lazer Show was great.

Next it was off to Ontariario where we spent the night at The Terry Fox Statue in Thunderbay.

Then another day of driving till we got to Cochrane where we found another truck stop where the food sucked.No wonder some truck drivers are cranky.This Husky was way overpriced,bad food and the service was not.

Speaking of overpriced! Only another $500 plus

Wednesday morning we headed down the road to Englehart where we had a great breakfast.This is the first day that the weather has not been awesome but what the hell,they need the rain.

We arrived at Dale and Karen Chamberlain's in North Bay in the early afternoon and were forced to start drinking right away.Forced against our will I may add.Later, Dale cooked us up a feast and made us drink even more.

We are staying in the Chamberlains driveway but we did not expect all this V.I.P. treatment.
Tonight they have invited a bunch of people over for a fish fry and we will probably be forced into drinking again.

What's a guy to do.

No comments:

Elderly Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

The Vibrator

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park;
One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

This time, I 'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'

" Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Speaking of Lakes

Rod had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father,grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day they had all walked across the lake to the bar on the other side for their first legal drink.

So when Rod's 21st birthday arrived he and his pal Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake and Rod stepped out of the boat---and nearly drowned.Bob had manage to pull him to safety just in time.

Rod was furious and totally confused so off he went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma" he asked,"It's my 21st birthday,so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy and his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into his little dull and troubled eyes and said"Because they were all born in January,when the lake is frozen,and you were born in July,you dumbass.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

We left

No comments:

Post a Comment