Wheelin It 2011-12: June 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

O Canada

6 MONTHS FROM TODAY IS CHRISTMAS!

A recent study found
the average Canadian walks
about 900 miles a year.
Another study found
Canadians drink, on average,
22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average,
Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes one Proud To Be Canadian,
doesn't it??!!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Weekend Stuff

I filled up the hoe with fluid and it worked again.Tried moving some dirt but there is a seal leaking real bad and it loses power quickly.

Son Jeff come up this weekend so we decided to work on the boat.The boat has no impeller

And no engine.

The boat used to have a stock 350 chevy but it wasn't quite fast enough.

So with Jeff's help(he did most of it) we put together this Chevy 383 Stroker.

We started 3 years ago but somehow priorities change over time.

So it's ready to go in.We get the hoe out for lifting and

In she goes.

We spent the day on this project and it's getting closer to being finished.

After 3 years it's hard to remember where everything goes.Especially the wires,and of course all the mounting stuff does not match all the holes in the new engine and mods are mandatory.

We will figure it out-I hope.

Then it was drink some beer and BBQ some steaks.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Hurray, finally we might get some summer.
Today,being the first day of summer it is supposed to be sunny and warm.

Bout time,it rains almost every day lately.

Peggy started Physiotherapy yesterday so hopefully she is on the mend.

We had some old friends we met along our travels our first year in a motor home in Persidio,
Texas,drop by for a couple of days on their way to lead a caravan to Alaska.
Had a great visit with Vicky and Guy and swapped a few lies etc.

The river has subsided a bit but is still a little dirty from the run off.

Looking up stream from our deck

Looking down stream from our deck

I don't think any of the kids are coming up this weekend so it should be a very quiet one.

My old hoe started with just a turn of the key after sitting all winter but it won't move.
(when you saw old hoe what were you thinking,the other hoe is spelled ho)

Why would it not move?

Cause it leaked too much fluid,so fill er up I go. I hope this solves the problem,it usually does.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Slack Ass

That's me!
I think I don't keep the blog up in the summer cause there is not a lot to yap about.
Peggy is still hobbling around in her Robo Boot,She should start therapy soon.

We sold our Modular home but it is still sitting here in the way.It was supposed to leave a couple of weeks ago but I am presuming it's still here cause it's too wet to haul it through the field,

We want to pull our coach up to the deck where the house is but we have to wait till it leaves,then we can get back to hooking up the water rather than keep filling the tank all the time.And when we are BBQing on the deck it's a long way to haul everything.

There is too much grass to cut around here
The river is high and dirty as usual this time of year due to the run off in the mountains and of course all the XO#@? rain.There is also a lot of junk floating by,trees ans such.

There is no sun today so that probably means the mosquitos will be out in full force ready to suck out all my alcohol infested blood.

We got the money for the car and I put a deposit on a new one.The insurance money paid for the new car but not enough to cover the tax and we will also have to spend a few thousand getting it rigged up to tow.Oh well it is a new car.

I'm supposed to go golfing today but my gout is going to keep me home I think.Maybe I'll work on the coach or the boat.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

UPDATE

Just to update;
Peggy is hobbling around with the Robo boot now,no crutches.Still not dancing though.

We are waiting for the settlement from the insurance co for the car so we can get a new one.

Both my sons split with their girlfriends last week end.(2 eligible bachelors)

It's raining again.I think we have some of the worst weather around.It's still cold and wet.It totally sucks and I'm sick and tired of it.
We have to move.

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A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Elderly Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

The Vibrator

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park;
One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

This time, I 'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'

" Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Speaking of Lakes

Rod had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father,grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day they had all walked across the lake to the bar on the other side for their first legal drink.

So when Rod's 21st birthday arrived he and his pal Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake and Rod stepped out of the boat---and nearly drowned.Bob had manage to pull him to safety just in time.

Rod was furious and totally confused so off he went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma" he asked,"It's my 21st birthday,so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy and his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into his little dull and troubled eyes and said"Because they were all born in January,when the lake is frozen,and you were born in July,you dumbass.