Wheelin It 2011-12: May 2012

Sunday, May 27, 2012

BONES

Peggy went to the Bones too.

When Peggy went to the hospital after the accident the first doctor told her her ankle was definitely broken.

When we went back to the hospital a different Doctor told her he wasn't sure if it was broken or not.

The other day we went to see the Orthopaedic Surgeon and he said it was definitely not broken.

He says the break that shows up on the xray is an old one and her ankle is sprained.

No Surgery

She has to wear the Robo Boot for 4 or 5 weeks then Physiotherapy

Now that she can put some weight on the boot she is getting around much better on the crutches.

They say times heals all.

We shall see.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

YUP,That's where our car is headed. The Bone Yard

The insurance company has decided to write it off!

The good news is that we think we have full replacement insurance.I think that means we get a new car.

Only time will tell

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

May Long

So here we are at the river

It's May Long and it's not snowing.

What a country.

The first thing we did was get the mutts new doos.

Next thing you know it's Friday and some of the kids started arriving.

JP brought a couple of relatives.

Someone brought their balls.

And let the good times roll

The nights were cold,just like the desert but the fires kept us warm on the outside and other liquid things kept us warm on the inside.

Some women did nothing

Some men chopped wood

Some women just drank

Some men slaved over a hot stove to make us all a very very good dinner.

There was also the women that just danced their time away.

And finally there was a women who just tried to avoid the camera as usual

But that just doesn't work

The ones you let me take for are just much better Wen

And Bob's your uncle

Friday, May 18, 2012

Damage

Damage $15,400.00

Doesn't look like that much.

Pissed me off.Why couldn't she total it and then we could get a new one.
I should be happy that she only broke her ankle right?
Right.

Speaking of "Crash"
She got a Robo Boot.

Me! I went to the doctor and all I got was the "finger"
(no pic available)

Peg can't get in to see the Orthopaedic Surgeon till the 24th(the day we were supposed to leave for Europe) so we headed to Whitecourt.
Arrived just in time for the weather to turn cold and have it pour rain.

The good news is the sun is shinning this morning and there is not a cloud in the sky.
Not what the weather man predicted but we will sure take it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Car

It doesn't look too bad.

Can't figure out how Peg broke her ankle as there is not that much damage.
When I went to get stuff out of the car her right shoe was under the gas pedal.No brakes were touched in this car.I think maybe the apparatus attached to the front of the car that we use for towing it caused it not to crush and absorb like it is supposed to.Maybe?And the same ankle was broke years before.
I saw the vehicle she hit.An older GM SUV,hardly any damage other than 2 dings in the front bumper and 2 in the back.When the accident happened the girl driving it was fine and didn't go to the hospital but now all of a sudden she has injuries,probably talked to a lawyer?

They say you never know what you have in insurance until you have a claim.
Well it appears we have good insurance.We have a rental car with no costs,They agreed to pay any medical expenses that are not covered,ambulance,crutches,robo boot etc.We get OEM parts for the car and they are ordered already.So far so good.
Touch wood.
Again only time will tell.

The Europe trip is off for now.

Monday, May 14, 2012

LIFE

Life has been boring.
Peggy is supposed to be retired but has been working for more than a month.
This would normally be ok but the weather has been horrible and that means that I have nothing to do but sit around the coach all day in the trailer park.

We were starting to get ready to go on our Europe Trip which we were leaving for on the 24th but "CRASH" may have changed our plans.

Peg was being nosey and ran into the back of another car.Broken ankle.
Her x-rays were sent to an orthopaedic surgeon and he is supposed to call on Mon or Tues and tell her when she has an appointment.At first they thought she would need surgery but now they are not so sure.
We will have to wait and see.
This probably means our trip is off for now but again we will have to wait and see.

I guess we should be thankful that this was her only injurie.Just a broken ankle,it could have been much worse.

After she was released from the hospital we went to the Kimball's fror dinner then it was home so Peg could rest.

Sunday we went to Wendy and JP's for dinner or should I say we went to the not so shy's and the shy's

Someone told me they could handle crutches-NO PROBLEM!

As you can see that is not so.

After falling out of the coach it was decided that maybe we should crawl up the stairs.

Peg did figure out what was different last time she was on crutches.

Last time she was 30 years younger and 50 pounds lighter.

We are not sure about the car as it was taken to a compound then they went home for the weekend.

So now it's the life of liesure with her own man servent

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

WARNING

WARNING: To all men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last months I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look).

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, "No", but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 4^th, 9^th, 10^th, twice on the 15^th, 17^th, 20^th, 24^th, & 29^th. Also June 1^st & 4^th, twice on the 8^th, 16^th, 23^rd, 26^th & 27^th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, Etc.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

Let's be safe out there!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

May 1st

HURRAY HURRAY
IT'S THE FIRST OF MAY
OUTDOOR SCREWING STARTS TODAY

Well maybe not in Edmonton

A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Elderly Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

The Vibrator

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park;
One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

This time, I 'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'

" Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Speaking of Lakes

Rod had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father,grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day they had all walked across the lake to the bar on the other side for their first legal drink.

So when Rod's 21st birthday arrived he and his pal Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake and Rod stepped out of the boat---and nearly drowned.Bob had manage to pull him to safety just in time.

Rod was furious and totally confused so off he went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma" he asked,"It's my 21st birthday,so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy and his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into his little dull and troubled eyes and said"Because they were all born in January,when the lake is frozen,and you were born in July,you dumbass.