Wheelin It 2011-12: January 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Pedicures

We have our appointments and it's off we go

Don't even think it!

I didn't even notice that we were wearing the same colour shirts.

It was not planned as everyone knows I HATE THAT!

So here we are soaking away.

We are trying to joke around and keep ourselves entertained as the girls do not speak english

They just smile and laugh

The troubles have appointments right behind us so they are just getting started.

These are our new feet,

in old sandals

So while they are getting new feet we head off to the Huanacaxtle bar.

We were joined by Tim and Linda but it was not another runaway

Sort of maybe

I will tell you this

We had no fish

Again

Monday, January 30, 2012

So we are not done yet.
We take our frozen fish and our veggies and go home.

Stopping by the Troubles we pick up the BBQ'd chicken Tim bought at Costco,cause there won't be much of that left by the time we are done with it.We got potatoes and nice veggies for a salad.

So with a concentrated effort by all parties dinner is on.

As you can see I am doing my part.

Women do like to dance.

More good times and a good meal

What more could a person want.

Maybe a little Courvoisier after dinner.

I'm sure you know what's coming next.

Yup,you guessed it

A compromise as Linda did not have a napkin.

Good Night.

This day has finally ended.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Costco continued---

We leave the Oyster Bar

And where do we end up? The Huanacaxtle Bar where we are well looked after by Abril and JC

(His real name is Juan Carlos)

It's a beautiful day todaaaaaaay and everyone is enjoying themselves

Now some people are really enjoying themselves.

Some even take pictures of themselves with another persons camera

Oh Dear!

Chuckin and Jivin also

Oh Oh

Muchos Funos

I think the time has come

Yup,the time has come to get our fish and boogie on home.

It seems we will not be having fish tonight because they put it in the bar freezer instead of the fridge.

Once again

NO FISH

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Costco

We pack up "The Troubles" and head for Bucerias where someone has an appointment.

While someone gets their hair cut
the rest of us head on over to our
favorite place for breakfast

We are having a great breakfast,except I ordered onions in my omelette and they gave Tim a double dose and me none.Oh well,it could have been worse.

These guys are also enjoying their breakfast of fish

(Speaking of fish-We still don't have ours)

There are thousands of these Pelicans fishing here this morning.Karen from the restaurant says she has never seen this many pelicans ever

Go figure and Bob's your uncle.

Someone returned from getting their hair cut just in time to gobble down the last half of Linda's breakfast.OMG

So we are off again

Yes sir," The Money Pit" is our destination

After filling the car and emptying our wallets we are heading home

So it's unload the car,stop by the Troubles and have a quick beer then off to The Oyster bar where of course everything is 2 for 1.

It's not long before everybody is all happy again but!!!!!

What about our fish

The internet is very slow and it is taking forever to upload pictures so I will continue this later.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Fish Again

Since we didn't get our fish the day before and we did not feel like walking to town,we had chicken.
Maybe tomorrow we will have Tacos but that is beside the point.

This is a women content with being filled with chicken.

But it is the fault of the fish.After a late breakfast we head into town for veggies and fish.

We stop by the fish market and pick out our fresh red snapper.Then we tell him to fillet it and we will be right back after we get our veggies.

My back is killing me today so when we pass the Huanacaxtle Bar and Alex comes out to give us a hug,

I decide to stay and have a beer while Peg dashes up the street for the veggies

This is Alex

So I am having a quiet beer,talking to Alex and guess who shows up?

Yup! The Troubles

Soon Peg arrives back from the store with the veggies.

Time is flying and the fish market is going to close so Peg marches back there and gets our fish.

So at least today we have the grub

We shall not starve.

We have fish

In the mean time the kids in the bar are keeping themselves amused one way or another.

Alex has gone off duty and JC has become our waiter.If you look closely,you will see a bird in his hand.

I guess that's better than 2 in the bush.

The bird belongs to this guy.Santa I think his name is.

Once again everyone is having a good time.

All brought on by these two of course.

The next thing you know it's dinner time and no one is in shape to walk home and cook so we stash our fish and veggies in the fridge at the bar,walk over to Frascatti's,have dinner and drinks then catch a cab home for more drinks of course.

AGAIN NO FISH

PS We have called the Betty Ford Clinic and booked ourselves in after we leave Mexico

A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Elderly Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

The Vibrator

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park;
One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

This time, I 'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'

" Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Speaking of Lakes

Rod had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father,grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day they had all walked across the lake to the bar on the other side for their first legal drink.

So when Rod's 21st birthday arrived he and his pal Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake and Rod stepped out of the boat---and nearly drowned.Bob had manage to pull him to safety just in time.

Rod was furious and totally confused so off he went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma" he asked,"It's my 21st birthday,so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy and his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into his little dull and troubled eyes and said"Because they were all born in January,when the lake is frozen,and you were born in July,you dumbass.