Wheelin It 2011-12: 2011

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Wake up call

7:30 am this guy woke us up.He was circling our complex and continued to do so for 2 hours.Apparently the Mexican Marines supply the political security here.
The state governor has a place here in our complex and he has arrived for a new years eve party.There are armed guards every where.Should be interesting.

The maid comes on Friday so while she was doing her thing we headed up to PTA De Mita.

About half way there we spotted a resort with a restaurant.

It was a gorgeous spot on the ocean and we were hungry.

A great pool too.

We had a wonderful omelette,which took forever as there was a large group in front of us,then we headed back home.

Never did get to PTA De Mita

We picked up Linda and Tim and headed to the Mega store cause the kids are coming Manana.

Then it was home and back to the beach where my eagle eye spotted a dog with an stupid hair cut.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Nothing

Nothing!

That's what we did today.Nothing.

So here is some shots of the Malecon on Wednesday.

Lots of people! Some just out walking.

Some up in the air and some on the ground

Some were even in between

Some were made of sand and some came to read

Some came by boat

And some peddled their asses.

Some were climbing their way up the ladder

Others were just bumming around.

I even spotted one person shopping for meat for her next burrito.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Malecon

Every time we went to PV with Chris and Louise there were no cruise ships.Today there were 2 monster ones at port.
Go figure.

We were heading in
to meet Grace,Mel,Dave
and Michelle at the
Cheeky Monkey.

We were a little late so they started drinking without us.

Go Figure

It was a busy day on the Malecon.

And a busy day on the beach.

It was also busy at the beach bars.

Someone also found a new boyfriend but I won't mention Dave's name.

Just another great day in Paradise.

We then said good bye and headed for home but we were hungry again so we stopped at the new joint that just opened in Cruz De Huanacaxtle (forgot it's name) and had more drinks and dinner.

Then it was home,feed the mutts and have our very very very last one and off to the fart sack.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Last Day

Chris and Louise had a later flight so we spent their last few hours by the pool.

Just lazy times.Doin the wait.

Then we had our last supper of hot turkey sandwiches and it was off to the airport.

Where sadly we had to say our good-byes.
We had a great time and I think we just might do this again.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Boxing Day

Christmas is over but Tim stopped by to Ho Ho Ho anyway.

We had quite a bit of cloud today but there was still time for the pool where Louise seems to think she can walk on water.

Then Chris and Louise took us out for dinner at Francatti's as they will be going home tomorrow

We all had a great meal and we were stuffed.

Louise's drink appeared to have an effect on her teeth.

This bug also had an effect on Chris.It entered the house but Peg chased it down,broke it's back and squashed it's guts.An hour later it appeared between Chris's toes-STILL ALIVE!

Go Figure

We ended the night playing some more cards and proving once again that the men are the world champions of Joke-r-rummy,crib and euchre.

And that's a fact.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas Day

There was a small market going on today so we took a walk in to see.This poor guy seemed to have lost his way on the beach.
The market was pretty small so we had a beer and headed home.

An old friend whom I have not seen in about 18 years emailed us some poultry seasoning for the turkey.

Thanks Lou!

So while the bird was cooking-

We headed for the pool

The women were having a great time playing with our noodles!

But soon after the sleepy hormones kicked in.

Then it was home where Tom T was waiting all golden brown.

The table was set and a fine Christmas dinner was enjoyed by all.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Saturday, December 24, 2011

It Didn't Start Out That Way

We were just going to the Marina in Vallarta for breakfast.After breakfast we were going to visit Mel and Grace who were staying at Michelle and Dave's near the marina but we forgot the directions.
Go Figure!

So we took Chris and Louise on a quick trip to The Malecon but they have closed it off to vehicle traffic now and you can only walk down there.

On the way home we stop at the Mega store for some last minute grub for xmas dinner and who do we run into?
Grace,Mel,Michelle and Dave who are on their way to our place.

No Poultry Seasoning!

We wondered into town and it all began again.

Mel ordered a Bulldog,which nobody ever heard of.

He was kind enough to share a sip with his sweetie

After a healthy session we head over to Philo's for pizza

Maybe even a little Tequila

A good time was being had by all

Chris found himself another girl friend.

We had a tramp stamp show.

Chris and Mel are not looking cause their wives are watching.

Caught ya! Look at these dirty old men go now.

Soon we are back at our place where the party continues on the deck where it is still a warm evening outside.

Just another fun and beautiful day in Paradise.

Sure don't seem like Christmas here in this weather.

A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

SYLVIA:
I froze to death.

WANDA:
How horrible!

SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.
I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself
in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?

WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running
all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
---we'd both still be alive.

Elderly Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

The Vibrator

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
shopping trip ,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
son-in-law.'

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park;
One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a
hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

This time, I 'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'

" Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

Or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Speaking of Lakes

Rod had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father,grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day they had all walked across the lake to the bar on the other side for their first legal drink.

So when Rod's 21st birthday arrived he and his pal Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake and Rod stepped out of the boat---and nearly drowned.Bob had manage to pull him to safety just in time.

Rod was furious and totally confused so off he went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma" he asked,"It's my 21st birthday,so why can't I walk across the lake like my pappy and his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into his little dull and troubled eyes and said"Because they were all born in January,when the lake is frozen,and you were born in July,you dumbass.